Sometimes we misidentify growth with change. Certainly, change will always be a part of growth, but growth can mean more than just changing. Growth can be making a decision to rest, or developing a program or relationship out more fully, that has already been established, and growth can also be finding freedom in feeling content.
So then, why do I sometimes feel like I'd rather be someone else? ...someplace else? ...doing something else? Does the ever-increasing connectedness through social media bring too many choices into focus? Am I seeing someone else having a season of success, and longing for my own?
I recently found myself thinking about what my next project or goal would be, and it briefly felt like a struggle with this duality. Should I set a new certification or educational goal for myself, or develop a new presentation for the next season of conferences? Should I push myself to become more visible, more vocal, more involved, more everything? Or would it be prudent to take some time to dial back so much busyness to nurture the feelings of contentment, and recharge my energy?
Because I can sometimes find myself acting in extremes, I find that neither answer feels satisfactory. Pushing further, farther, and faster is too much, and I become overwhelmed. Resting can easily become drifting even slacking. In my indecisiveness, I end up failing at both ends of the spectrum.
Sara Weston recently wrote in the 911der Women newsletter about Jack the Pumpkin King, and Halloween Town vs Christmas Town. Jack ultimately decided that being authentically himself in Halloween Town was the right way for him. This made me realize that maybe I was using the wrong measure for growth and success. I now recognize that I am the only one who can define my success. My periods of intense growth, and my seasons of rest are MINE. Only I can determine when it's time to set a new goal or dial it back.
Thank you Sara. Her reminder about staying true to ourselves hit just right.
The jury may have been out briefly, but it's now been decided. This Halloween, I'm choosing me.
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